I wake up in the middle of the night with a very intense thought of separation, abandonment, and rejection, associated with my maternal grandfather. My mind processes the information and roams to see where this might have originated.
My grandfather, on his return from his honeymoon with his first wife, repudiates her as he believed she wasn't a virgin. In addition to this, the young woman had received as a wedding gift from the earl she worked for, two beautiful woolen mattresses. In those days, it's too big a gift to a maid and this reinforces my grandfather's suspicion that she had something to do with the earl.
The woman, however, until his death, which occurs a few years later, always rejects any allegation with this fact by stating that she was always pure, and has only been with my grandfather. The fact is that the repudiation takes act, the woman is abandoned, she is pregnant, and the baby is not recognized.
Meanwhile, my grandfather marries my grandmother, a widow with two children, and out of their marriage my mother was born.
The young son of his divorced first wife, at sixteen volunteers in the Navy, and while he's cleaning the wheels of a cannon, his captain, forgetting he's having a man in there, orders to rotate the cannon and squashes the young sailor, who does not die immediately. He dies a few days later in hospital, after calling for his dad all the time.
At the news of the accident, my grandfather takes the first train and runs down to Sicily to his son - now that child becomes his son - but he reaches there shortly after the boy dies.
My thinking is about the feeling of guilt, disappointment, frustration, anger, despair, paranoia, injustice, and horror of this Karmic situation that is condensed in an extremely intense knot echoing throughout the DNA of our family line. My mother, in fact, tells this whole event with a very intense vibration. For her, this was a crazy gesture and story.
At this point, I sit in the lotus posture, I get myself centered, activate the third Reiki symbol and spend the night healing these karmic knots with my maternal grandfather. It is very beautiful and intense. I enter the whole without form and call his name: 'Louis P.' I wait motionless for a few seconds and I call him again, more intensely, and once more. I notice a fluctuation in the fabric of nothingness and I hear a faint voice, asleep and puzzled, asking: 'Who is it?'
An intense shiver strikes my whole nervous system, a shiver unlike any other I've ever experienced before. 'It's me, your nephew Andrea', I reply. 'Andrea', he says waking up a bit more. We spend some hours together, immersed in the Reiki power, and the ebb and flow of karmic energy in motion, until it all comes back quiet and still. My work is done, I thank and move out. I lie down on my bed a few minutes more, enjoying the sunrise, the chirping of birds and the silence that I feel inside.
If my grandfather had not repudiated his first wife, I wouldn't be here telling this story. It's the future that determines the past, and it does it now.
Dr. Andrea Scarsi is a metaphysician and meditation practitioner, author of many books on metaphysics and meditation. You can check out one of his websites at: The Secret Of Metaphysical Science. You're welcome to browse his personal website, where he provides advice on how to choose and easily establish your daily personal practice, at: Andrea Scarsi
0 comments:
Post a Comment